Ann Finnemore, Hypnotherapy, Coaching and Stress Management

I blog about the latest research, items appearing in the news, related books I've read and about how the various tools and techniques I use in therapy and coaching work. I also like to pass on any tips that could help you succeed in making any of those changes you've been thinking of (along with the occasional healthy recipe). I hope at least some of what I write makes you think -- that's always a good way to kick off a change of some sort!

Turning setbacks into success

Turning setbacks into success

Whatever your plans to reach your goals in life, there will be times when you go off course. The more challenging or long-term the goals, the more likely this is to happen.  The way you regard these times has a huge impact upon how successful you will be eventually.  Your mental approach to each time you seem to slip up on your route to success is vital to the final outcome.

How well do you handle those times?  For example, if you’ve been making healthy changes to your lifestyle and then find yourself slipping back into unhealthy habits, do you criticise yourself?  Do you blame yourself and feel like a failure? 

A lot of people see the times that they slip back to old habits as a sign that they’re inadequate in some way, as if it is some sort of character flaw.  As a result, their inner dialogue then focuses on how they will never succeed, or how they are just weak and so might as well give up on their goal.  Not surprisingly, such self-critical thoughts reduce their confidence and motivation to the point of becoming self-fulfilling prophesies.

Yet, the reality is that, each time you slip up, you are simply discovering something missing within your plans.  Maybe you didn’t plan to deal with very busy times, or times when you're tired or feeling under the weather.  Maybe you didn’t account for occasions when you are travelling away.  There are all sorts of occasions which can disrupt the new habits that you are in the process of developing. Realising this is the difference between eventual failure or success.

As soon as you begin to regard slip-ups as valuable lessons about your plans, and so change your self-talk around them from an emotional, blaming dialogue into one which takes an objective practical approach, then you can then work out what to do in future when similar circumstances arise.

That way, you're able to get back on track with your motivation and confidence intact. 

Much of my work with clients involves enabling them to develop the habit of focusing on the lessons that any slip ups teach them, and then working out what to do next time instead.  It’s an approach worth developing, whatever your goals. Once you develop the habit of approaching life in this way, you are on their way to achieving their goals whatever disruptions happen.

I work with clients face-to-face and via Skype, so wherever you are, why not find out more about how I could help you to achieve the happiness success that you deserve? I am also available to talk to groups who want to learn more about stress management, improving lifestyle habits and confidence building. Contact me today for more information.

Life-in-the-driving-seat-cover “Life in the Driving Seat: taking your road trip to happiness” is available from Amazon in paperback or Kindle versions.

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Wednesday, 21 April 2021

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